Lessons Learned
by Christine Writer
Summary: Begins with Jess and Rory fighting in Doose's about why Rory didn't call during her summer in Washington.  Will she start something with Jess, or stay with Dean?  ONESHOT.  R&R Please! I own nothing.


"You kissed me." Jess looked right at Rory. Underneath his veneer of anger, Rory could see that Jess was hurt. "Then you told me not to say anything-_very _flattering, by the way-then you went off to Washington, and nothing after that. Should I be apologizing to you because I didn't hang around all summer waiting for you to come back, the way Dean, your boyfriend, did?"

"Jess...I was confused."

"About what?" Jess sounded tired. He was, truthfully, but he'd never admit it. He was tired of waiting to see what Rory was going to do next.

"I was confused about how I felt. I didn't know if I wanted to stay with Dean, or start over, with you."

"Have you made up your mind?"

"I...have." Rory nodded after a moment. "But I need some time."

"How much time?" Jess asked.

"Time enough to be gentle with Dean. He doesn't deserve to be blindsided."

"How long will that take?"

"I can't give you a timetable. I'm going to talk with him tonight. We'll see."

"He's a big boy, Rory. He can take care of himself."

"Yes, he can. However, he deserves to not feel like he's been slapped in the face."

"Who does?" a voice came from behind Rory.

"Hi, Dean." she turned to face him. "I need to talk to you."

"Okay." Dean nodded. The pair left Doose's together, leaving Lorelai to pay for the groceries, and with a desperate look from her daughter.

"Dean," Rory waited until they had walked down the street to Dean's house. They settled onto the porch steps. "I have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"At Sookie's wedding, before I walked down the aisle, I did something that I thought was a good idea at the time. It turned out to be an okay thing, but the timing was so wrong."

"What did you do?" Confusion crept into Dean's voice, and Rory winced.

"I...I kissed Jess." she admitted.

"What?" Dean felt like he had been socked in the stomach.

"It was the wrong time. You and I were together, and it wasn't right. I felt so bad after, and I didn't know why I did it, until I realized, over the summer, that I like Jess."

"I can't believe you'd do that." Dean looked at Rory, and then looked away. It hurt him to look at her and know she'd betrayed him.

"I'm sorry." Rory's eyes filled with tears. "I was so wrong. It wasn't fair to you."

"_Why_?" Dean's voice was nearly inaudible.

"I don't know why. I got carried away, I guess. I didn't want to hurt you, though, so I left things the way they were. I went to Washington, and I was talking to Paris about how you know if you and a guy are supposed to be together, and how you know, and I began describing the ways I know. I'm so sorry, Dean. I described my relationship with Jess." Dean remained silent, and Rory placed her hand gently on Dean's. He pulled away from her. "Please, say something. Tell me something. Tell me that you hate me, that you never want to see me again."

"I could..." Dean looked at Rory. His eyes were dulled, but not hardened. "I could never hate you, Rory. I don't ever want to go a day without seeing you. I just don't understand. Why couldn't you still love me?"

"It sounds lame. I guess we grew apart. It's not always about losing love. I found a different kind of love, and I don't want to prolong your pain by not giving you a chance to find someone who loves you so much more than I ever could."

"I don't want that chance. I want you."

"Dean, please understand." Rory said, quietly. "I can't hurt you anymore. You will always have been my first love. However, I like Jess. I probably love him. I need to figure out if he's the road I'm supposed to take. Please, let me go."

"What if I can't?"

"Then you aren't the guy I fell in love with. The Dean I know and will always love as my friend knew that love means wanting what's best for someone, even if it doesn't include yourself."

"Is Jess what's best for you?"

"I think that he is." Rory nodded. "You and I don't have to remain friends if you don't want to. I wouldn't want to be friends with me after this."

"Okay." Dean exhaled slowly. "Maybe someday, but not now."

"Okay." Rory agreed. "Thank you."

"Goodbye, Rory." Dean said quietly, his heart twisting at the memory of the time Rory had thanked him for their first kiss.

"I'm told that it gets better with time." she offered. He nodded, and the two walked away from each other, each knowing that though their relationship was over, they had both learned lessons which would stay with them forever.


End file.
